’Tis the season … of college application self-sabotage

It’s the last week of October. Do you know where your teen’s Early Action supplemental essay is?

If you, like many other parents, are wringing your hands as you watch your high school senior hesitate, procrastinate, and renegotiate their college application intentions, you are not alone.

Most Early Action deadlines are just one week away; in California, our public university system deadlines are fast on their heels. Even with a good process, many students felt not enough pressure to complete November essays in September; now, the overdue and the soon-to-be-due tasks overlap. In this moment of panic, many students doubt themselves, their plans, their possibility for success. And then, they freeze.

Conveniently, if they can convince themselves to fail to complete the applications on time, they can also avoid the potential failure of not being accepted. This is self-sabotaging at its finest. You can’t lose the game if you don’t show up; you can’t get turned down for prom if you never ask the question.

Sometimes, failing to complete a college application is a message: I’m not ready for this; I don’t really want to go to this school (or at all); I don’t have a clear vision for my future. These are messages we need to listen to and give space for. Sometimes, walking away from an incomplete application and towards a different path is the right answer.